Fake snakes and farts

Day 2 - Captain's Log - SITREP

While preparing to retire for the evening, I picked up my pillow to fluff it back to regulation size and was accosted with this:

the old fake snake under the pillow. After a mostly inaudible gasp, I grabbed the snake behind its head (Just like our friend Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter showed us how to do) and flung it off the bed. Danger removed. 

Using the Reid Technique of Interrogation, whereupon the Questioner observes the subjects reactions to questioning, it was determined that  Blondie (the eight-year sister to Boy Child), who laughed through the grilling and snickered when saying "Not Me!" was the culprit. Boy Child seemed disappointed in his older sibling's reactions and stated "If you hadn't of laughed, she wouldn't of known. See, watch this. CPT Allison, try to make me smile." The questioning went as follows:

                Me:  Did you fart this morning at the breakfast table and blame it on the     dogs?

                Boy Child: No

                Me: Did you fart just now?

                Boy Child: No

                                                - still no smile -

                Me: Did you fart last night and blame it on the dogs?

                Boy Child: Nope, but Blondie did!

Boy Child then ran from me laughing like Dr. Evil. I've never known a child impervious to laughter when discussing farts. Round One goes to Boy Child.

Conclusion: Boy Child seems very resistant to alternate  interrogation methods; however, there seems to be a small divide in loyalties between Boy Child and Blondie as evidenced by revealing that Blondie really did fart at the table (I KNEW IT!!). Blondie shows promising development in Psychological Warfare.