A List of Things I Can't Be Trusted Around: (An early April Fool's Guide)

April Fool's Day is coming up and I haven't planned a huge joke in a couple of years. I'm getting withdrawals.

I am a mischievousness person.  I've been this way since childhood - pranks, tricks, scaring people - if I'm not scheming on some joke to play the excess energy builds up and I can't focus on the important stuff, like work, paying bills, or generally all of the super-fun adult activities.

Most of my friends are aware of this personality trait and take preventative measures to keep me from 'getting them'.  

To further help public awareness, I've compiled a list of stuff I shouldn't be left alone with. This is in no way all  inclusive.  A girl's got to have some secrets.

1. Cell phones - I will post to your Facebook account. No, I don't care that your Mom is one of your friends, but I will keep my mischievousness  classy.

2. Puzzles - within moments of sitting down I will locate the piece you've spent 10 minutes searching for and will put it in its correct spot. Left long enough with the puzzle, I will finish it.

3. Wallets - I will reorganize all of your credit cards into categories. This actually benefits you because, once you learn my system, you will notice how much more quickly you can retrieve your cards.

4. Checkbooks - I will fill out a check to myself, usually in the amount of 1000 pesos. I will also fill in the memo section for you on several checks. The bank loves getting checks with "Dwarf tossing" written in the memo section.

5. Purses - If we are out eating and you leave your purse unattended, I will put silverware, sugar packets, bread, and/or napkins and/or anything else I can fit in there and not get in trouble for "stealing". You should probably check your purse because it's hard to get the sugar out of your purse once the packet breaks open.

6. An empty work desk with a pad of post-it notes - It's amazing how many things I will IMMEDIATELY have to share with you and it's so fortunate I now have access to 100 sheets of wee sticky paper. I will eventually buy you more post-it notes since I will use all of yours.  

And lastly, white boards, chalk boards, fridge magnets or anything that I can draw on. I particulary enjoy adding items to your grocery list: chicken breast, left side, no nipple. 

Well, I now feel relieved of responsibility and guilt for all of the future shenanigans I have planned.